We all have somewhere to call home right? It might be our parents house, our grandparents house, an aunt or uncle's house or if you're lucky....Your own house. This feeling of 'Ahhh I'm finally home' is common to many, except me. I will quickly add that I came close to having this feeling when I once lived in my grandparents house. I'm not sure why, because I didn't know my Grandparents all that well.... So I don't feel that this feeling came from an emotional response. I did blog about this about 2 years ago.... However, at the moment I'm too lazy to go and look for it.
I have for most of my life floated around not knowing where I belong. With the exception of my grandparents house, I have moved around hoping that the next house I unpack my stuff in will become 'home'. This feeling is what I imagine being homesick would be like and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I'm getting itchy feet again, where the feeling that I don't quite fit in the house that we are living in is creeping back again. This is a bad feeling as I cannot just pack up and leave as we have a mortgage. My wife does not understand this feeling that I have, as she calls 'home' where ever the two of us are living. I on the other hand constantly read real estate websites looking for the next 'perfect house to call home'. I feel displaced, I don't know where I belong and this constant feeling that I will spend the rest of my life roaming is driving me crazy!
Of course I know that there is no 'perfect' house, I am also aware that a house becomes a home, a place where memories are are created. What I feel is something completely different..... It is actually very hard to explain....
Dad's Old Penny Collection
8 months ago