I have for most of my life floated around not knowing where I belong. With the exception of my grandparents house, I have moved around hoping that the next house I unpack my stuff in will become 'home'. This feeling is what I imagine being homesick would be like and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I'm getting itchy feet again, where the feeling that I don't quite fit in the house that we are living in is creeping back again. This is a bad feeling as I cannot just pack up and leave as we have a mortgage. My wife does not understand this feeling that I have, as she calls 'home' where ever the two of us are living. I on the other hand constantly read real estate websites looking for the next 'perfect house to call home'. I feel displaced, I don't know where I belong and this constant feeling that I will spend the rest of my life roaming is driving me crazy!
Of course I know that there is no 'perfect' house, I am also aware that a house becomes a home, a place where memories are are created. What I feel is something completely different..... It is actually very hard to explain....
3 comments:
Hi Alex, I was quite chuffed to see that you had popped over to look at my blog. I can understand those feelings of restlessness, I have experienced them myself, but not for some years now. I wonder if it is really a feeling of needing some control and meaning in life, which we think we can grasp hold of, if only we were in some perfect place...
I loved my grandparents' house too, and I have been much happier over the last few years as I have worked hard to give my house some of the qualities of theirs - good food, cleanliness, order, that sense of thriftiness, and making and mending.
Hope you can work things out, and find a good way forward for 2013.
Hi Jo,
Thankyou for stopping by. The feelings are starting to subside.... lol at least for now. I agree, that meaning in life is definitely needed, its just finding and believing that the right 'meaning' has been found :o)
Thanks again :o)
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